I’ve found myself in this place where I have the desire to create things. I want to create apps, businesses, solutions, videos. A lot of things. But I tend to get stuck between acknowledging that desire, and turning that desire into something tangible.
“Well, just get started then.”
We both know it’s not that simple. In a world where a simple “how-to” is met with 10-step plans and elaborate videos explaining how to get to a destination, it’s difficult to get started. Information overload is real.
Goals as simple as writing an article like I am right now, get broken down into intricate plans that would fall at the drop of a needle. It’s insanity to expect someone new to be able to handle all these complexities.
How do we address this gap between wanting to create and not feeling overwhelmed with creation itself?
Take me for example.
I want to do something tangible, like build an app. I actually had a draft where I was documenting how I would build the app. But once again, writing doesn’t give that sense of tangibility that I’m after. When I don’t find it in writing, I tend to default back into old habits such as doomscrolling on TikTok or going on YouTube.
Breaking bad habits doesn’t come from not doing them, it comes with replacing them with better ones. Every habit we do fulfils a need, a desire, a cue. Creating tangible things comes with setting up habits that scratch that desire whilst bringing us closer to our creations reality.
But how do we juggle scratching that itch with the longevity that comes with creating things?
I’ve been playing Stardew Valley. It’s a farming game where you grow your own crops, look after animals and engage with the local community. You get to do quests and go mining.
When I started playing it, I felt it was a bit slow and boring. Upgrades are slow at the start and you don’t really know your domain well. But once I could got a feel of the game, I got sucked in. I would spend hours and hours on it with a clear goal and an outcome. Something to work towards.
It would start with things like completing community bundles and quests. Then it would change to getting to the lowest depth in the mines. These things gave me a reason to keep going with the game.
But once I completed them, I felt lost.
The game felt a bit stale and I felt like I was repeating tasks for the sake of them. Almost like doing habits without a clear outcome behind it.
I would like to counterpoint Atomic Habits, and suggest that the idea of building habit systems in isolation of goals is counterintuitive. Not all habits are permanent. Most habits shouldn’t be permanent. Habits should change with the seasons and our interests and desires.
Ideas like:
- Habit building is hard
- Habits must last forever
- There are good habits and bad habits
These are cooked into us. And I disagree with most of them.
But it’s worth acknowledging the bias that capitalism has on habit culture and productivity. It places value on habits like being a morning person over a night owl, going to the gym every morning, reading books everyday.
But these habits mean nothing if you don’t enjoy them. What do you gain by engaging in a habit that doesn’t bring you a sense of fulfilment? That’s what we are all after right? Fulfilment, not unnecessary consumption.
To go back to the creation thing, I’m not really sure how to solve this conundrum. I suppose if I keep trying to approach it from different angles I’ll get there. I also think breaking it down can be a useful tool, as long as you focus on the essential elements.
E.g. when I decide I want to compose something, I don’t go crazy about what instrument should I use or whether I should compose in C major or G minor. I just choose what I feel comfortable in. There’s a lot of time sinkers in creating that simply distract you from the act of creating.
I also think letting go of the limiting beliefs holding you back from creating helps. Things like:
- Everything I create must be good
- I need to package my creations well
- I have to create from A to Z
- I can’t just start creating, I need to plan
- I must find a way to monetise my creation before I start
Everything I create must be good
The perfectionist mantra. Much has been discussed on how perfectionism doesn’t help you create better things. It just stops you from creating anything.
The story of the potters come to mind. Being asked to create 1 pot vs being asked to create multiple pots, led to those creating multiple pots having better quality pots than those who fixated on making one good pot.
It’s almost like the repeated action of creating things improves how well you create things. Case in point: the Dyson creator iterated 5000 times before getting it right.
I need to package my creations well
A lot of the software we use today started as a bunch of spaghetti code on a trashy laptop with no coding guidelines. And if you’re not a coder, let’s use a more relatable example: the internal side of any company, whichever company you work in, is a complete mess 90% of the time.
It’s very easy to get lost in creating a perception that your creations are cool. But you can get lost in that and miss the joy of creating in itself. You can always package things later. But you can’t package nothing.
I have to create from A to Z
I was watching some videos on someone creating games. These games were created over the span of either 24 hours or a week. Very short time span. But the games were really good!
What caught me off guard is that the creator focused solely on getting the game mechanics right. He didn’t start creating a menu screen for the game or a settings page. He focused on the game itself.
Sometimes we think we need to start from A when actually the thing that really matters is at G. Menu systems, home pages, these are all universal things. You can very much copy-paste what exists out there for these things.
This applies greatly for me when it comes to app development. The only differentiation between apps is the functionality. Landing pages, onboarding, settings, these are all the same.
It’s the same energy as focusing on how your YouTube Channel Art looks without creating videos. These things will develop overtime, but without the actual substance, it won’t matter.
I can’t just start creating, I need a plan
I used to ride on this narrative so much. I became the craziest planner. I still plan a lot, and admittedly I pride myself in being someone who can plan things well. But I learnt that it’s often better to get started without planning everything.
My first project in my PhD was something I knew very little about to start with. I couldn’t tell you what a data model was and I had just graduated from a masters in computer science. Embarrassing, right?
I didn’t let the fact that I didn’t have a clear plan to this project stop me from making a start. As I got to grips with it, a plan started evolving. With support from supervisors, I was able to get to a point where I can explain this project well to anyone and propose ways to approach this project.
If I had gotten lost in the planning mode, I would have made predictions on things that I could have easily disproven. A lot of the plans we make never hold up, as we don’t have the insight to know what we are planning.
It’s a lot better to just jump in and start, and let your mistakes guide you to where you’re headed. I pivoted a lot in my content creation career, but if I let those pivots stop me, I wouldn’t be here where I feel I can write about anything!
I must find a way to monetise my creation before I start
The rush to monetise creativity is one that requires it’s own post. What I will say is that monetisation is something you can consider at any point. You don’t need to start thinking about it before you start.
It links a lot to the packaging thing, how can you focus so much on monetising your creations when they don’t even exist yet? If we are being honest with ourselves, we didn’t come into creativity to find another side hustle. We came here for creative freedom.
In what I’ve seen from monetising creativity, it always seems to come at odds with creative freedom. I realised early on, that the ability to choose what you can create is worth more than being paid to create. And that’s something that I hold very close to myself.
I started building a creative career as a tech content creator. I was good at it. I had a clear pathway to monetise. But I dropped it. I didn’t enjoy being a tech creator and I didn’t like technology being the only thing I was known for.
Do I miss having a clear pathway? For sure. But do I love knowing that I can write about anything without feeling it’s “not in my niche”? 100%.
What are you looking for?
We need to be brutally clear with what we are looking for. We often confuse the approach with the destination. We think money provides freedom without recognising what that freedom looks like. What we don’t see is, what we are chasing is what we already have.
If you mistake what you have to be something you need to strive for, you will keep searching for the rest of your life. You will find yourself on a forced treadmill, with no end goal, because you didn’t define it, nor did you realise that you already had it.
I feel a lot of people obsessed with money get stuck here. They fixate so much on increasing a number because that’s all they know. They have more than enough to do what they want to do but they can’t imagine living life without a clear pathway. I suppose that’s the easy road right, having a clear pathway.
We humans love optimising things
We love seeing number go up, number go down. But a lot of the things that matter in life can’t be measured numerically. What counts doesn’t always matter, but what matters can’t always be counted.
Pursuing creative freedom comes with acknowledging that you can’t just optimise a bunch of numbers. You have to consider qualitative data, such as your feelings, your sense of self and your lifestyle.
You might have the ability to build a £1 million business. But would it be worth losing several years of fun and enjoyment and friendship? Or living off very little for the next 7-10 years?
Every journey has a cost. Sometimes the cost of the journey isn’t worth the reward of the destination. And sometimes, you don’t need a destination for your life to have meaning.
I don’t have a destination.
People ask me what my plans are after my PhD and I say I would like to be a professor. But honestly speaking I don’t know. I could do a lot of things. I’ve always given myself the option to choose what I want.
I’ve never felt crazy connected to like a particular pathway. I suppose being a full-time creative would be nice in theory, but I’ve seen the negatives of that. Unpredictable income, relying on brand deals. It’s not all fun and games.
I also don’t want to just give myself a destination. I had the idea of building a creative empire called Demiko. A place where I create cool things and just see what happens. I still want to do that, but I suppose, I am already doing that.
I feel sometimes I discredit my writing to suggest it’s not tangible enough to be a form of creation. Some people make a living off doing what I am doing right now. It’s not cool of me to discredit it because I desire something more tangible, right?
I am building a creative empire. And I’m loving it! I might not have a posting frequency or a clear pathway. But I’m enjoying just throwing things at the wall. I’m not even looking to see what sticks anymore. Looking for permanent treadmills in a impermanent life is not my thing anymore.
I’m here for the things that will bring present me joy. Right now, it’s this PhD. And afterwards I’ll find another thing. But I’m not letting myself get sucked into finding the “one” thing. I’ll do a range of things.
And I’ll enjoy it.